These One-liners Will Tickle Your Funny Bone

Ah, the one-liner. A staple of comedians and wiseguys everywhere, they can make you laugh out loud or groan and roll your eyes. Most of the time, its a combination of both.

There’s a subreddit called r/oneliners that is devoted entirely to people posting their best one-liners. We’ve culled some of our favorites for you to enjoy.


1. Cutting Carbs


This one-liner takes a tongue in cheek poke at all those who are on the low carb diets that are all the rage right now.

I’ve been cutting my carbs lately…with a pizza cutter.

The next one-liner takes aim at the medical establishment.


2. 9 Out Of 10 Agree


Our next one-liner pays homage to a certain statistic we all hear quite often.

9 out of 10 doctors agree that 10% of doctors are disagreeable.

I would agree with that statistic. I’d also agree with the advice that our next one-liner gives us. 


3. Give 100%


This is always sound advice.

Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.

Always remember to keep at least some of that blood back for yourself, ok?

The next one-liner is true on so many levels.


4. Some People


I think we can all agree that we’ve met people like this.

Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog.

Or their cat. Or their goldfish. Or pretty much any living thing that might have to share the same air as them.

Speaking of people whom we’ve all met…

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